Olim to Zichron Yaacov

Predictably Unpredictable

Bruce Altchouler

In a country with over 7.2 million people, who do I run into last week but fellow blogger Cliff Savren at the IKEA megastore in Netanya. Cliff noticed my daughter's Shaker Heights sweatshirt and came over and introduced himself and his two daughters. Cliff was very cordial and asked us how we were getting along in our lives as new Olim. He also bestowed upon me the honor of fellow blogger. I do not consider myself a "blogger" or an experienced columnist like Cliff or Marci Oster; just someone with a story to share. Cliff shared with us some of his early experiences as an Oleh, and I began to compare his experiences with ours. "The first year is the hardest" he said. I thought to myself; haven't I heard that one before and suddenly I could not wait to put my thoughts down for my next blog. How could I sum up our experiences thus far? Predictably Unpredictable

We have been told by many what to expect as first year Olim and neophyte Israelis. To my surprise, most of it has been shockingly accurate. We came to Israel with few expectations and much trepidation. We did not expect easy, nor impossible, but somewhere in the middle. Some of these prophetic statements to follow:

• The schools are a disaster! Unfortunately, tough to argue, the behavior in the classrooms is atrocious, the students have almost no respect for authority, and for the most part the parents seem almost indifferent. "Welcome to Israel"
• The winters are cold and the houses are even colder. Don't make me laugh, I thought, I was born in Cleveland and bred for sub-arctic climates. Big surprise! No, we don't get sub-zero temperatures with waist deep snow; however the cold fronts are usually accompanied by rain. The combination of wet rainy weather and houses that are generally not well insulated or heated makes you feel chilled from the inside out. I gave all of my winter clothing to Jewish charities.
• The people are aggressive, impatient, and sometimes just plain rude. nachon, nachon, and nachon!
• The drivers are dangerous. We bought a car with a high crash test rating and side impact airbags.
• Israelis pull no punches and will tell you exactly what they think. We were over my cousin Idit's house today and her husband Ofer asked my wife if she did something different with her hair. Her automatic response was yes. Do you like it? No, he replied flatly. She will be more careful next time.

The one thing I can say in summation is that it has not been boring. Each day brings a new adventure; some good, some not so good, and some really just plain ridiculous and funny. Unpredictability is just a way of life in Israel that everyone seems to accept. The most common response to unexplainable behavior or events is "That's Israel". The root of this phenomenon is beyond the scope of this blogger. I will leave that up to much wiser intellectuals like Cliff and Marci. I will simply close with